Catching a Fugitive: Posterity and Privacy in “Most Wanted Man”
Finding love and remarkability in the everyday.
It’s been almost a month since Lucy Dacus released Forever Is A Feeling. One of my favorites is the penultimate track, “Most Wanted Man.” The uptempo country-infused love song was written by Dacus about her girlfriend and boygenius bandmate, Julien Baker. Because Dacus has confirmed this herself, I’ll be referring to them both in my analysis of the song. This is not with the aim of prying into the details of their lives; rather, this base-level contextual information helps to better examine the emotional and expressive significance of the lyrics. Dacus makes sure to distinguish between what parts of their relationship she is presenting to the world and what they keep private.
Bright Light
The song starts with a reflective moment of surprise at how the relationship has changed: “I never thought I’d see you looking at me this way / Almost vulgar and out of place / Like seeing the moon in the day.” This observation is characteristic of a friendship turned romantic; seeing love and desire where they were not expected to be reciprocated can be shocking and “out of place.” The comparison Dacus draws to the moon in daylight illustrates this idea, as well as its remarkable quality. The moon is visible, day or night, due to its reflection of sunlight that makes it bright enough to be seen against the sky—by extension, Baker is an unexpected source of light for Dacus. As a result, she “find[s] it hard not to look away,” which is typical of something bright. There is also still a bit of underlying fear of confronting reality with honesty.
She finds herself still wrestling with disbelief: “Hard to believe it’s the same face / I saw twisted in anger / I thought you’d hate me forever.” Dacus has known Baker for many years and been through so much with her that she is amazed by where their relationship is now. Admitting her fear that Baker would “hate” her “forever” is an indicator of her initial insecurity and expectation that her romantic feelings would not be reciprocated or would ruin their relationship.
Knots
As the pace of the melody picks up in the next section of the verse, Dacus zeroes in on a moment in the present: “Now I feel your hand under the table / At the fancy restaurant / Gripping on my inner thigh / Like if you don’t I’m gonna run.” In describing this private exchange “under the table” in public, she analyzes the comfort and reassurance provided by the love language of physical touch. Ironically, she frames this touch with a sense of urgency and possessiveness as a result of Baker’s fear of losing her. Dacus responds to this anxiety with reassurance: “But I’m not going anywhere / Least not anywhere you’re not / Got me wrapped around your finger / Tied in a double knot. Despite it being a surprising turn of events, she does not feel any insecurity about the strength of their relationship now. By expanding on the “wrapped around your finger” expression, she incorporates a play on “tying the knot” with the image alluding to wedding rings and fingers, as well as reinforcing the permanence of a “double knot.”
Dacus then compares this figurative notion to a physical one again: “Just like our legs all double knotted / In the morning at the Ritz / 700 dollar room still drinking coffee from the Keurig.” She mixes her metaphoric language with literal description, which parallels the juxtaposition of enjoying the mundane “coffee from the Keurig” in a luxury hotel. She decides to prioritize living in the moment: “We’re soaking up the luxuries on someone else’s dime / Living the dream before we fully pass our prime.” The idea of “soaking up” an experience suggests committing the enjoyment to memory. Her references to “someone else’s dime” and “[l]iving the dream” acknowledge her and Baker’s mutual success in the music industry. The phrase “pass our prime” is generally a euphemism for aging, but here it also describes their careers at the moment.
In the short chorus, this notion of mortality takes an optimistic turn: “And when we do / I’ll have time to write the book on you.” Dacus is not worried about leaving behind their “prime” because she will have more “time” to devote to documenting their experiences. Her plan to fill an entire “book” of journal entries about the person she loves is an expression of love in itself. Moreover, she calls it “the book,” the definite article rendering it an authoritative summation of her muse.
Love in Contrast
The second verse returns to everyday images of intimacy: “Sitting on the kitchen counter / Counting bug bites on your thighs / Just another southern summer / Sweating bullets in the highs.” The assonance of “another southern summer” creates a feeling of repetition, suggesting that this is a specific moment but it could also take place in any year. The discomfort of “bug bites” and “[s]weat” is juxtaposed by the sweetness of the memory: “Watermelon dripping down your chin / Laughing ‘til you cry / Sweetest tears I ever tasted / Kissing salt out of your eyes.” The dripping watermelon encapsulates this contrast of uncomfortable sticky sensations and a sense of sweetness both literal and figurative. Dacus packs multiple contrasting ideas into these lines, such as “[l]aughing ‘til you cry,” “[s]weet” and “salt,” and kisses and tears—these all exist simultaneously in a moment of happiness because of how they love each other.
Another love language that she prioritizes is acts of service: “I’ve been circumventing your pet peeves / Bending over backwards every time that you say please / I just wanna make you happy / Will you let me spend a lifetime trying?” Dacus is trying to be an ideal partner by minimizing Baker’s discomfort and unhappiness (“pet peeves”), even if it inconveniences her in the process. Her question is synonymous with asking to be together forever, but her phrasing places an emphasis on the notion that she will always be “trying” and putting a sustained effort into the relationship to keep it “happy” and healthy. In the second iteration of the chorus, Baker sings the final line: “Finally, time to write the book on you.” This gives the impression that a lot of the ideas expressed in this song are reciprocal, and that both parties want to devote time to documenting their love together. It is also just a fun public acknowledgement of the relationship; what better way to solidify the meaning of the song than by having its subject sing on it?
Holy Love
In the bridge, Dacus enters introspective territory, examining her relationship with faith: “I still believe in God sometimes / It always takes me by surprise / To catch myself in the middle of praying.” As someone who was raised Christian but is no longer religious, she finds herself praying to a God that she only “sometimes” believes in. When religion has played a big role in a person’s upbringing, it can be difficult to become completely removed from that ideology, and a lingering sense of faith might come out subconsciously. Dacus twists this shock into another moment of loving appreciation: “But I thank God for you / When I don’t know what else to do / Don’t know where the words go but I still say ‘em.” She combines her lingering faith with queer love, channeling it towards a positive source of constancy and stability. Her admission that she does not “know where the words go” reinforces her doubt about whether God or any kind of spiritual realm exists. Nevertheless, she prays anyway, demonstrating a faith in her relationship—if not in God—as holy.
Her religious doubt spiral ultimately brings her to a decisive place: “If it’s not God, it’s Fate / If it’s not Fate, it’s Chance / If it’s my chance I’m gonna take it.” The capitalization of terms here is telling of these three words as representations of larger concepts. “Fate,” for example, references the figures from Greek mythology that are also mentioned in “Ankles.”1 They are all-powerful beings that determine human destiny. “Chance,” on the other hand, is in some ways the opposite of “Fate”; Dacus wonders if it is pure luck that brought her and Baker together. Her subsequent determination to “take it” is a reclamation of agency and choice in contrast to this talk of destiny, as she remembers that she can write their future together.
A Fugitive Caught
This train of thought finally brings us to the song’s title: “Cause who gets the chance / Like the one that I have? / To catch the most wanted man in West Tennessee.” She appreciates her good fortune in the love that she has found through the metaphor of catching a fugitive. The difficult task of finding the “most wanted man” also plays with gender in a manner that all three members of boygenius often do.2 This phrase—and the concept of a “catch”—is a cute nod to Baker’s renown and desirability, and she is from Memphis, the westernmost part of Tennessee. With this lyric, Dacus confirms the identity of her muse once and for all.
Continuing in this slower pace, the outro returns to the “book” motif: “If you let me write the book / Open the hood and take a look / I promise anything you give to me / Is something I will keep.” Dacus asks Baker for permission to know her deeply, better than anyone else. She compares her mind or soul to a car, asking to “take a look” under the “hood” to understand her component parts—this parallels a lyric from the boygenius song “Souvenir.”3 Crucially, the words “let” and “give” indicate that this is a willing exchange in which Dacus promises to “keep” and cherish everything she learns.
Read and Weep
The book would exist for the purpose of her own knowledge and understanding, not to publish or share with anyone else: “We can burn it when it’s done / Soot and cinder in the sun / Nothing left for anyone to read and weep.” Dacus promises to destroy any record of this “book” that could be found by the public, reducing it to “[s]oot and cinder” to keep its contents private. Ironically, this song is a part of her expression of this love, but the distinction seems to lie in keeping the most intimate details private in this figurative (or perhaps literal) book. The phrase “read and weep” stems from the world of gambling, which is a theme that recurs on the album; no one else will be as lucky as Dacus herself, since she found the “most wanted man.” The word “weep” also evokes the image of crying, which calls back to the happy tears in the second verse and the emotional depth of the relationship.
The song ends abruptly with this last lyric, which is symbolic of the ending of this window into a private emotional and romantic exchange that listeners have gotten to glimpse. The ending, with “[n]othing left,” sets a barrier between the relationship and the outside world. Overall, the song takes a journey through the landscape of a friends-to-lovers relationship and faces both the big and small challenges and experiences of life. All Dacus’ questions bring her back to the simple answer of her love for Baker and dedication to learning how to make her happy or “spend a lifetime trying.”
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"One of three ancient Fates / Playing with your scissors again."
Some examples from the record include: "Not strong enough to be your man" from "Not Strong Enough" and "I'll be the boy with the pink carnation" from "We're In Love," not to mention the name boygenius and their group nickname, "the boys."
"When you cut a hole into my skull / Do you hate what you see like I do?"